this looks like fun, doesn't it?
Well, let me tell you, it wasn't. 101 degrees and not a hint of shade anywhere. Before the half, one by one the girls started coming off the field in tears, seriously questioning WHY in the world they ever thought it would be fun to be a cheerleader (my daughter included). Which had me asking (myself) the question, "Why the hell did you get ME into this?!" Oh, the joys of being a first-time cheerleading liaison. During the game, I was informed by one of my favorite parents that there had been an "incident" with the Mom-from-Hell (MFH) during Thursday's carpool. It seems that on the drive home, the MFH warned her little 10 and 11-year old passengers to "hang on to the 'oh-shit' handles girls...we're taking a tight curve!" along with several other profanities. She then proceeded to turn up the radio really loud while playing 50 Cent's Candy Shop, which I have not heard of until now, but I will share with you some of the lyrics:
"If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
In the hotel or in the back of the rental
On the beach or in the park, it's whatever you into
Got the magic stick, I'm the love doctor
Have your friends teasin you 'bout how sprung I gotcha
Wanna show me how you work it baby, no problem
Get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider
I'm a seasons vet when it come to this shit
After you work up a sweat you can play with the stick
I'm tryin to explain baby the best way I can
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands"
Bizarre, huh? I could think of better ways to get out of driving carpool, but I'm pretty sure that's not what she was aiming for here.
So Macy and I also started our first day of mother-daughter sewing classes yesterday. Between the sewing class and the cheerleading, I feel like I've just spent the weekend trapped in some alternate-universe where my girly-self has been living all these years. Next thing you know I'll be playing with Barbies... *shudder*
posted by my imperfect offering at 2:20 PM
4 Comments:
I'm just gonna go ahead and be honest and admit that i love Candy Shop. For me, it goes so far overboard that it's amusing. There are plenty of other blush-inducing lyrics that you didn't include (something about a lollypop). But i'd never listen to it with my kids, and definitely not with anyone else's kids.
Whenever i start to think that i'm not qualified to raise kids, i run into someone that changes my mind. Sounds like that MFH is there to reassure you that you're doing okay.
heheh Good point. I'll admit, having not heard the song, there's a possibility that I would like it too. (I love Eminem and his clever lyrics.) The MFH has built quite a reputation for herself already, so the carpool incident was just icing on the cake.
Next thing you know, you'll be wearing uncomfortable shoes, an apron, and a pearl necklace. "You're looking lovely today, Mrs. Cleaver."
"I get sprung!" - Sir M.A.L
And while we're talking lyrics... "Macy's mom has got it going on."
Even hot, she just looks so good out there - aw, I miss the cheerleading days with Brttany (in spite of the Moms).
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