47

Happy Birthday, Dan!

and then the world stopped turning

Tales from the Mall, Part 2. (This may be old news to everyone else, but it was news to me.)

During my fruitless shopping trip to the mall last night, out of desperation I stumbled into The Gap store. I did my usual walk-through, thinking to myself "My gawd these clothes all look so tiny!", and despairing in the fact that I seem to be lost in some sort of Generation Gap of Fashion (no pun intended)...too old for Hot Topic, Abercrombie and American Eagle, and too...uh...immature? for (most of) the Misses Department at Macy's. I've analyzed this problem at great length over the years and determined that the root of the problem is really *shoes*, and the fact that I must have been standing in the wrong line when God was passing out whatever gene makes other women go crazy over them, because I just-don't-get-it. And of course there is the lingering tomboy in me who is perfectly contented to wear jeans and t-shirts for the rest of my life, but I digress... Anyway, as I was leaving The Gap, I look up, and there on the wall was this GREAT BIG picture of Alanis Morissette, wearing Gap jeans, with a tag line that read, "Favorite Jeans: Curvy Flair" (see here). I could not believe my eyes! What happened to "Thank you India...Thank you Providence"? I literally had to walk out of the store and back in again to do a double-take. I felt compelled to snap a photo of the blasphemous billboard to post here, but I feared the Gap police might think I was committing some sort of act of industrial espionage, so after walking in and out of the store twice, I chickened out ("...I'm brave but I'm chickenshit..."). In her defense, I read the following on-line this morning: "Alanis Morissette spoke with Spin magazine for their March issue where they quizzed her on why she did the ad for the Gap. Morissette responded, "My initial response when they called was, 'What about sweatshops, and why would I do a Gap ad?' They said my payment would go to a charity of my choice, and immediately I went, 'Oooh.' And then they said it was going to be a Supertramp song, and the theme of the commercial would be the encouragement of generosity and contributing. Then they said that Liz Phair and Macy Gray were doing it, and I love those guys. After investigating about sweatshops, I decided to do it." However, I still say... Sellout. [Edit: I just realized that that quote was from March 2002...just after her 2001 holiday Gap ad... (gasp!)...so this is her 2nd ad. Commercials will begin airing next month. Someone shoot me.]

I can still hear the lambs screaming

(what was going through my mind in the dressing room at Macy's today...)

Oh well, if I can't be a Pirate, maybe I can play the role of Catherine in "SILENCE! Silence of the Lambs: The Musical" (funny site -- check out the lyrics and free mp3 downloads)

calling all carnivores

This weekend we went to dinner at Fogo de Chao, a local upscale Brazilian “churrascaria”, where sword-wielding gauchos await your command (via a two-sided red and green disc) to bring skewers of 15 different cuts of roasted meats to your table. The menu is prix fixe (hmm...I wonder how you say that in Portugese?) and all-you-can-eat, and although this wasn’t our first visit to the restaurant, it will likely be our last since they’ve increased their prices to *cough cough* a whopping $45.50 (!!!) per person. Now, after our first visit to the restaurant (and finding out the hard way that there are no menus, and therefore no prices listed anywhere--brilliant of them!), we decided that next time we should have a strategy -- “just say No” to the cheaper cuts of meat (chicken, sausage, etc.), and instead concentrate solely on the filet mignon (and the house special, which is also very good). As we sat there, I wondered if there is some sort of "pecking order" amongst the gauchos? I mean, does the low-gaucho-on-the-totem-pole get relegated to carrying the lowly skewer of chicken legs and sausage, while the more senior gauchos get the honor of delivering the filet mignon? Perhaps it was just my imagination (well, that and my cursed Huge Sense of Empathy), but I swear I saw this terrible look of Rejection on their faces each time one of the inferior gauchos approached our table ("Would you care for some.....bottom sirloin?" "Uhhh...No, *thank you*..."). It was excruciating. About the time that I thought I couldn't take any more, Hope walked through the door, in the form of a ~400 lb. man, accompanied by a young Keanu Reeves-looking guy. Now I'm not normally that much of a people-watcher, but I was straining to find some common link between these two...did they have the same noses...same ears? The large man was very old and almost albino-white, the younger of darker complexion and slender. (I did notice, however, that both men were wearing these HUGE mammoth-size diamond (cubic-zirconia?) rings. But what does this MEAN?!) About that time the Sausage Gaucho approached their table and was welcomed with open arms, and I took that as our signal that it was time to leave. Umm. The End.

Lady in Red

While driving through downtown Atlanta last night, I spotted a huge procession of people all dressed in RED. As I got a little closer, I realized that they were all, in fact, wearing RED DRESSES, and that most of them were MEN! At first I excitedly thought I was perhaps witnessing some sort of cross-dressing version of the Red Hat Society (and started scrambling for my camera--which misfired *of course* except for this one shot...how lame), so after I got home I did a little research. It turns out that yesterday was the Atlanta Hash House Harriers and Harriettes (AH4) annual Red Dress Run. A few years ago (when I was still running) I had heard about hash groups and thought maybe someday I would join one. They sound like such a fun bunch of people! For those not familiar with hashing (and you can read more here):

"Hashing is a semi-athletic / drinking / social club based on the old English schoolboy's game of "Hare and Hounds". (They call themselves "a Drinking Club with a Running Problem". heheh) It is centered around running and is a non-competitive ( sort of like your sex life ) form of exercise with the unique aspect of allowing the opportunity to vent frustration (running), provide entertainment (drinking beer), release energy (running) and socialize with others (drinking beer). Running is loosely used to mean running, jogging, walking or any other means of conveyance, short of mechanical methods and is usually secondary to the social aspect of hashing. The "Hare" is traditionally given a 12-15 minute head-start before the pack starts after. The Hare marks the trail with various marks (usually with flour or chalk) to indicate direction and deviously tries to outwit the pack. The packs purpose is to catch the Hare, if possible, avoid getting lost and continue onward to the next beer-check. Eventually everyone makes it to the "On-On" where running takes a backseat to socializing. The Hare gets abused, Hashers with Hash-crimes from the trail get abused, beer (soda and water) gets consumed and songs are sung."

There is even a song: Ballad of the Red Dress Hashers (worth hearing!) :-)

So who knows...maybe I will officially add "Join a Hash Group" to my list of 43 Things!

9 Songs

This looks really good...

At the Angelika (Dallas), August 12th, and the Midtown Art Theatre (Atlanta), August 26th.

Official site: 9 Songs

Trailer is here

Jude Law, the Butterscotch Stallion, and Katie Holmes' feet

I've never been one to watch the news, but lately I've been feeling like I should be paying more attention to current events. I can't believe all that I've been missing:

Check out The Superficial and Defamer...

Anyone care to run off with me to L.A. to become a Freaky Pirate?

watch out for frozen snakes

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Al Wilson? OMG...I forgot all about that song! And all this time I thought that story was just a terrific parable!!

Well, having taken in my share of frozen snakes lately, I am posting the song in it's entirety as a sort of public service announcement. (It's a shame that I was unable to find the elusive photo that I wanted to post here...that would have been even better than adding him to The Dick List! tee hee)

THE SNAKE
Al Wilson

On her way to work one morning
Down the path along side the lake
A tender-hearted woman saw a poor half frozen snake
His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew
"Poor thing," she cried, "I'll take you in and I'll take care of you"

"Take me in tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

She wrapped him all cozy in a comforter of silk
And laid him by her fireside with some honey and some milk
She hurried home from work that night and soon as she arrived
She found that pretty snake she'd taken in had been revived

She clutched him to her bosom, "You're so beautiful," she cried"
But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died"
She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight
Instead of saying thanks, the snake gave her a vicious bite

"I saved you," cried the woman
"And you've bitten me, but why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die"
"Oh shut up, silly woman," said the reptile with a grin
"You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in"

Ommmmm

I saved a life this morning.

--

I feel at One with nature.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then a passerby grinned at me (really BIG) for photographing the moment. So I made someone smile too. My life has purpose.

WHO'S your Jedi Master?

On my way home from yet

another exhilarating guitar lesson,

I had this realization:

Dan is my Yoda

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Always two there are,

no more, no less:

a master and an apprentice."

haircut

Macy got a new haircut....
Isn't she pretty?!!

mohawks

Life can be amusing if you pay attention

Macy and I were out at Old Navy today looking for cheesy 4th of July t-shirts to wear to the block party tonight. All of the sudden, walking right in front of us, was this family of four. The three males were all wearing mohawks and matching orange shirts (and the dad in his matching neon orange sneakers!). I hissed at Macy "Quick, take a picture!" but neither of us could get our cameras out in time before they made it to their car. Ironically, we made it to our next stop which was Super Target, and there was the mohawk family, in the Target portrait studio getting their picture made. I forced Macy to chase them out into the parking lot (against her protests of utter humiliation) where she managed to snap this photo. So once we were finished at Target, we headed to the grocery store to get food for the evening festivities. Guess who was also doing their grocery shopping?