zen moment

Ever have one of those moments where time seems to stand still, and for just an instant, all feels right in the world? I had one yesterday, driving home from cheerleading practice with a carload of happy 10 & 11 year-old girls, all of them singing The Killers' Mr. Brightside at the top of their lungs ("...it started out with a kiss...how did it end up like this...it was only a kiss...it was only a kiss..."). You should have seen the smile on my face. I'm grateful that I didn't miss that moment.

things that go bump

Eek! There's something alive up in my attic! I woke up at 4:00am this morning, and after tossing and turning for a while, I figured I might as well get up and get ready for work. Since no one else was awake yet, the house was really quiet. So as I'm standing in the bathroom getting ready, I hear this "scritch-scritch-scritch"-ing coming from (what sounded like) overhead. Then the scritching became more like a BUMPING and THRASHING noise! It reminded me of the sound my cats make when they're chasing and wrestling with each other during the night, so I quickly looked around the bathroom, hoping that was the case here, but NO--the cats were both sitting at my feet, staring up (in HORROR!) at the noise coming from the CEILING! I know it's probably a bird or a squirrel (or some other kind of rodent...*shudder*), but judging from the sound of the bumping, whatever it is, it's BIG! The worst part is, my spouse has an early flight out this morning, so I'm sure I won't be able to persuade him to go up there to investigate. This can't be good.

And the raven, never flitting,
still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas
just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, and the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore

too early for trivia

Found on my toaster strudel this morning:

Q: How much does a giraffe's neck weigh?
A: 550 lbs.

I don't get it. (Somehow this doesn't seem like the sort of thing you want to find on your strudel first thing in the morning.)

Bubba Ho-Tep

This is twice in the past week that I am reminded of

Bubba Ho-Tep.

Today one of those flying scarabs was swarming

around my office...but I just shooed him away.

I know what I'll be watching this weekend.



"(When you're old) everything you do is either worthless or sadly amusing."

-- Elvis Presley/Sebastion Haff

ink not mink

Oh man. I just got finished watching the Martha Stewart video for PETA. My heart feels broken. This is one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen. I want to get involved in some way (not just the fur thing, but PETA in general).

(I would have posted Martha's picture, but Tommy Lee is so much nicer to look at. Raaaaawr.)

consumer brag

Isn't it a great feeling when you feel like you've gotten what you paid for? Last Friday I sent one of my Toshiba laptops in for some warranty work. I'd been having intermittent trouble with the dvd drive almost since I bought it (after a little research it turned out to be a common problem with this particular model), but I got lazy and never bothered sending it in for repair. About two weeks before the regular warranty was to expire, I purchased an extended warranty through Toshiba's web-site, knowing that I'd use it at least once for the dvd problem. Well I finally got around to calling Toshiba, and right away they sent me a box, packing materials and a pre-paid next-day-air UPS label. I shipped the laptop last Friday, tracked it via UPS and saw that it was delivered to Toshiba on Monday. I couldn't believe it when I got home yesterday (Tuesday) evening to find my laptop was there waiting for me. Toshiba had replaced the dvd drive, upgraded my BIOS, and shipped it back to me the same day. Now I call that service!

self-portrait

Macy got a new camera... :)

sleeping beauties

During a sleepover this weekend, the girls gathered up every spare pillow they could find in the house. I'm not sure what they were trying to accomplish with the pillows, but I thought it was cute when I got up the next morning and found them basically snuggled up together on one pillow. (Makes your neck hurt just looking at it, huh?) Perhaps it was a barricade to protect them from the monsters under the bed?


(They have no idea that I took their picture, and even worse, that I've posted it for the whole world to see. They will be horrified if they find out.) ;)

stay up late

I love the way music can instantly transport you to another place and time. Just this evening on my drive home from work, the Talking Heads' "Stay Up Late" came on the radio and suddenly I was back in 1985. My little son wasn't much fond of sleeping. And being the young parents that we were, we tended to keep some pretty late hours ourselves. When this song came out, it seemed so appropriate because we were always joking that we wanted to go in and wake him up every time he went to sleep, to get even for all the times we wanted him to sleep and he wouldn't. sigh. The song feels poignant to me now. It's funny how you can miss the things that at one time seemed so difficult.

Mommy had. A little baby.
There he is. Fast asleep.
He's just.
A little plaything.
Why not. Wake him up?
Cute. Cute. Little baby.
Little pee pee. Little toes.
Now he's. Comin' to me.
Crawl across. The kitchen floor.

Baby, baby, please let me hold him
I wanna make him stay up all night
Sister, sister, he's just a plaything
We wanna make him stay up all night
Yeah we do

See him drink. From a bottle.
See him eat. From a plate.
Cute. Cute. As a button.
Don't you wanna make him.
Stay up late.

And we're having fun. With no money.
Little smile. On his face.
Don't cha' love. The little baby.
Don't you want to make him. Stay up late.

pet peeves....and "whatnot"

Someone was telling me a funny story recently about a conversation they'd had, in which the other party kept repeatedly using the term "whatnot", and how that just happened to be one of their own pet peeves.

I couldn't help but think of that story last night while attending a board meeting for our cheerleading squad. There is this one woman on the board: tall, blonde, with a *deep* Southern accent. She is generally quite friendly, but any time something highly-charged or "political" is brought up (which happens frequently--those cheerleading types are a surly bunch!), she becomes VERY fiery and outspoken. So last night one of those touchy subjects came up, and she flew out of her chair in protest, ending her statement with the words, "PERIOD. NEW PARAGRAPH!!" I've seen her do this many times, and she becomes really animated when she does it--one hand on her hip, the other wildly waving an index finger...then she air-types a period and then flings her hand from right to left, making an air-typed carriage-return! It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen!!

I can do extraordinary things!

Aww, I just love Rilo Kiley's "It's a Hit" video.
Poor little unipines. (*sniff sniff*) :(

I'm Wide Awake, It's...3:00am

And so it is. 3:00am. again. I've been waking up at 3:00am nearly every night (morning) for the past couple of weeks. My eyes fly open like those cartoon characters who have window-shades for eyelids ("thup-thup-thup-thup-thup-thup"). This time I was dreaming that I was writing HTML links...except it was this recursive series of links, one link linking to the next without end...and the links vaguely had something to do with... CHEERLEADING. (gasp!) And intermixed with the linking were numerous other thoughts about some things I'm working on at work that I couldn't even begin to describe here. My head hurts. This has been one of those weekends where you wish you could push the big "reset" button and start over. It all started Friday night (or more precisely at 3:00am Saturday morning) with a big glass of water, some Advil, and the thought that I should have had just one fewer martinis at dinner. Not hungover, but knowing that I could have started the day feeling just a tad better. Skipped out on my final sewing class. (The teacher said on the first day, "You'll either love it or hate it." I guess I have my answer.) Then Beau almost ate the 5-year-old girl that we were babysitting for a friend...at least according to my spouse, who I'm sure must be greatly exaggerating the story. (He isn't near as big as he looks in the picture, still less than 45 lbs., and if you knew the little girl, you'd think she'd probably have eaten him first.) Next was the Saturday football game where two parents made my head want to explode. (One was the infamous MFH, the other one of those crazed psycho-moms up in the stands who felt compelled to come down and SCREAM at the 4-foot tall cheerleaders for unknowingly continuing their cheer while a player was injured on the field...no matter that the girls can't even SEE over the helmet-and-pad-covered football players lined up on the sidelines which completely block our view of the field...bitch!) There are a few other things, but I must admit there's some self-censoring going on here (mostly about family members who wouldn't appreciate reading my inner monologue, should it have anything to do with them). Time to start that super-secret other blog... Oh well, I guess I should go try to attempt Sleep, Part 2. Hopefully this blog post has put the HTML demons to rest for the night. (yawn)

[Edit: 6:00am - After I wrote the above post, I went to bed and fell asleep again. This time I dreamed that my cell phone was ringing, and when I flipped open my phone to answer it, the caller ID on the phone said, "My Imperfect Offering" -- my blog was CALLING ME! It was damn scary. I'm not kidding.]

Church of the FSM

This is hysterically funny.
I must go shopping immediately.
And I want one of these for my office.

haha. Cute picture on his resume' link.
I think the hat looks like a boa constrictor digesting an elephant. ;)

p.s.

Incidentally, for those who don't already know this, I discovered this weekend that John Cameron Mitchell (writer, director and star of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and executive producer of Tarnation *which I also did not know*) was the director for Bright Eyes' First Day of My Life video, from the I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning CD. Sweet song and video. Go have a look/listen if you get a chance.

origin of love

Being such a lover of movies and films, I used to find it difficult when faced with the question "What is your all-time favorite?" But I think I can honestly say that no movie has ever affected me more profoundly than Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and if I had to choose just one favorite, that would definitely be it. The movie is funny and sad and poignant and romantic. And even though I'm not a glam-rocker from East Berlin, nor have ever had a sex-change operation (botched or otherwise), I find that I personally identify so deeply with the character of Hedwig, even still to this day. The first time I saw it, during its' original theatrical release several years ago, I was fortunate enough to be the only person in the theatre. I had seen that the reviews were great, but had not allowed myself to read the actual text of the reviews, so as to not spoil it for myself. I had no idea what I was in for. The movie started (..."Don'tcha know me, Kansas City? I'm the new Berlin Wall, try and tear me down...") and there was Hedwig. I felt an immediate connection. Throughout the movie I laughed and I cried, and when it reached the end, I literally sat there stunned with emotion, barely able to breathe. I don't know exactly what it is, but there is something about Hedwig that just resonates in me. Perhaps it is Hedwig's vulnerability... or that feeling of never quite fitting in... or the yearning to find "my other half" (though of course, as we all learn, this is to be found inside ourselves). I have shared the movie with several people since then, hoping to impart the love and emotion that I feel for Hedwig. I think sometimes their initial reaction is "Huh?", but within a few hours or days, the movie always seems to sink in and deliver the message. There must be a little bit of Hedwig in all of us.

The last time I saw you we had just split in two. You were looking at me, I was looking at you. You had a way so familiar, I could not recognize 'cause you had blood in your face, I had blood in my eyes. But I could swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul was the same as the one down in mine. That's the pain that cuts a straight line down through the heart. We call it love. We wrapped our arms around each other, trying to shove ourselves back together. We were making love (making love). It was a cold dark evening such a long time ago when by the mighty hand of Jove. It was a sad story how we became lonely two-legged creatures. It's the story, the origin of love. That's the origin of love.

life out of balance

Koyaanisqatsi: Ko-yaa-nis-qatsi (from the Hopi language), n. 1. crazy life. 2. life in turmoil. 3. life out of balance. 4. life disintegrating. 5. a state of life that calls for another way of living.

During my last visit home to Texas, I woke up really early one morning, so I flipped on the television to explore the digital cable channels while waiting for the rest of the house to come to life. I managed to catch the last 15 minutes or so of a film that I have been wanting to see for a long time, Koyaanisqatsi . The part of the film that I saw was absolutely hypnotic (and wonderful)... repetitive sped-up images of people, cars, etc., all moving through life in rhythm (all set to the haunting music of Phillip Glass). Lately it feels like life is just racing by me in one giant blur from one day to the next, much like those images from the movie.

I used to cringe when I'd hear my mother say (with respect to time), "Oh, it only feels faster and faster the older you get..." but right now I'm finding that she's right. (eek! yet more proof that we do turn into our parents. *shudder*) When my kids were younger (even as young as infants), I felt busy, but I still managed to work a full-time job, exercise daily, cook regular meals, and occasionally have a bit of a social life. I keep looking for some scientific explanation of how that was ever possible.

So now my kids are older, one is out of the house and driving (this is not to say that he doesn't still require time, energy, and -- last but definitely not least -- MONEY ;) and yet it feels like my life has morphed into some not-so-funny version of Groundhog Day. I truly love my job, and there's seldom ever a day that I wake up with that "god, I wish I didn't have to go to work today" feeling (for which I'm grateful). When I do, it isn't because of the work itself, but the million other things that I would like to do as well. But lately, when the alarm goes off in the morning, the first thought that goes through my head is Bill Murray waking up to the radio playing I Got You Babe. Anyway, instead of droning on about the mundane aspects of my current life, where I was really going with all this is to say: Since starting this blog I have noticed this phenomenon as I repetitively move about my groundhog days, and that is that I find myself "mentally blogging" all day long. I suppose I probably did this before and just didn't think of it in the context of "blogging", but just a mind constantly racing with thoughts. I've been having so much fun with the (real) blogging... sifting through the ideas trying to decide which ones are blogworthy...searching for just the right photo to illustrate what I'm trying to say (this is one of my favorite parts)...but I also find it somewhat frustrating because of the sheer lack of time, and even more so by my own reluctance when it comes to "public writing".
I know what I want to say, but I truly struggle when it comes to figuring out how to say it. Also, as some may have noticed, most of my blog posts tend to stay pretty "surface-y" so far. I admire so much the blogs that I read that are deep and personal, and that is really what I have longed for over the past several years when entertaining the idea of creating my own blog. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm still trying to find my "voice" here, but I think with each post it's getting a little easier. I've often said that I am not a person of strong opinions, which is the basis of many of the blogs out there (but of course those are not my favorites nor the ones I read regularly), but I have always been a deep-thinker (sometimes to my own detriment). I hope in time I will reach a point of comfort (and confidence) here to spew out a few of those thoughts along with the lighter ones.

Okay, it's time for me to get back to the rapid and mundane part of life. While I'm at it, I think I'm going to try to stop by Blockbuster and pick up Koyaanisqatsi. The part I saw was fascinating and I'd love to see the rest. Of course it may be better to save it for a later time, when I have some time to myself to slow down and really absorb it.